shiver me timbers

So it's another steamy day in Washington D.C. On my metro ride home this evening I was extremely exhausted. Why, you ask? Oh because I spent 3 hours at the glorious Arlington Urgent Care last night so the doctor could spend 5 minutes telling me I had a sinus infection that I was aware of a week ago. AWESOME....so at 11pm  the Doc finally writes me a prescription for antibiotics, which I also knew I needed a week ago. Her receptionist then gives me some ass backwards directions to the only 24 hour pharmacy in Arlington. I'm thinking to myself- this can't take too long to get a prescription filled at 11pm...no one will be there...BOY was I wrong.

I walk inside the CVS on Lee Hwy and the entire Pharmacy section is going under an extreme renovation. There are 400 pound plumbers cracks EVERYWHERE. I had never seen these type of people in Arlington and immediately started having flashbacks to my hometown. Apparently they only let these people come out after midnight around these parts.These guys were ripping up carpet, chainsawing medal shelving, all while finding loose pills all over the floor of the pharmacy AND threatening to take them. oooo Yeah! Did I mention they all had about 10 teeth in their head?? Yeah-awesome way to spend a Monday night, right?  Chillin with Americas Most Wanted at the CVS. Sweet.

The employees of this pharmacy are all in a tizzy because they're still open during these remodeling conditions. It is a bit hectic....but guess who doesn't give a damn? THIS GINGER. I am cranky, sick, and hungry because my dinner consisted of Cheeze-its from the Urgent Care vending machine....and not to mention its getting close to midnight and I'm not in the mood to deal with this bullshit. I give the man my prescription and go get a snickers bar because if I don't eat something I may go postal on these pharmacy employees. I thought this wouldn't take too long- boy I was wrong! This place was an F-ing circus. The sound of medal being sawed in the background almost made me crack. The only thing keeping me sane was the fact that I need this medicine so I didn't look like I was full of mucus at my bff's wedding this Saturday. Also, the other people getting their prescriptions filled at midnight are also extreme creepers. Most of them were either high or drunk or both. By the time I get home its midnight and my apartment is hot as hell (see previous post for horrendous a.c. issues.) I pass out, wake up and barley make it to work on time after 6 hours of sleep.

Needless to say I'm exhausted by the time I get off work this afternoon. I hop on the musky metro for my return home. I'm tired, but I realize I haven't posted to this blog in a while so I'm on the look out for creepers...And whadaya know??? I see a man with a....

HOOK!

This guy didn't look as cool as the above pic, but he did amaze me. He came complete with cowboy hat and plastic flower pinned to his suite. I hoped to see the flower shoot water in some passerby's eye, but no such luck. Why you ask do I not have a picture of this D.C. pirate? Well I'm a pretty ballsy ginger but I'm not about to F with someone with a hook. I didn't want him make me walk the plank.....aka the metro platform. ARRGGHHH! His hook hand was his left hand so I figured he was probably right handed and barely noticed the other one missing. I wondered if he slept with that thing? I'm pretty sure I would poke my eyeball out in the middle of the night, so I doubt it.

Well that's all for now my minions....Also, if you enjoy this here bloggy blog, please click this little FOLLOW button here to the right. I like pimping out my followers. THANKS!!!

Also, check out this blog if you hate D.C. metro    http://unsuckdcmetro.blogspot.com/.

the air up there

Sooo, I don't know if you have noticed, but it's starting to get a bit hot outside.....like stifling hot....like so hot my freckles are starting to connect. Oh- and by the way, did I mention DC was built on an F-ing swamp???? Yeah...I live in a GD swamp people. A SWAMP. I should have really read up on that minor detail before I moved my entire life up here. Fail.

You know its starting to get bad when its hot in the morning before you go to work. In recent developments, I've also been so lucky as to have my air conditioning break at my apartment. SERIOUSLY??? Yes, everyone clearly wishes they could be me at this point....freckle-connecting ginger, sweating to death morning, noon, and night. Even at noon, you ask? YES NOON, because the audit room I have been forced to live out the rest of what remains of my dieing youth was originally designated for storage. Yes, you heard correctly, STORAGE. Instead we have crammed 6 human beings, 7 computers, and 2 massive printers- a bonafied accounting circus. Similar to how many clowns can fit in a car, yet not nearly as entertaining.  But seriously this closet I work in was originally intended for boxes, crates, and other valid wastes of tax payer money.The guy from the property management even suggested some fans.YES, I would love to sit in this room with the funk of 5 other people circulating around me. Problem solved. Its new nickname is Cell block 4, however I'm pretty sure jail cells were intended for human use.....our quaint little hole-in-the-wall, not so much.


OKAY, OKAY! I'll bring this little rant back around to public transit. Soooo, it's me circra 7:30ish in the morning, I'm waiting for the bus in the sweltering heat and my hair barely dried. Because every girl (or guy with disgustingly long hair) knows that there is nothing more miserable than blow drying your hair when it's hot as Hades in your apartment. Awesome. Synopsis- I basically look like a wet cat in business casual. I'm hot, and I know I'm going to continue to be hot for the rest of the day in my musty audit room (picture a Soviet prison camp)......I'm grumpy, if you will.

until I see this little gem.....

1. rhinestone cowboy briefcase

2. one long African tribal earring

3. basketball, yo.

Now this guy makes me giggle......and also concerned that he possibly lives near me. It's all fun and games until the creepy ones get on and off at your stop.....Why heidely-ho, neighborino!!!

I always like to create a little story in my mind about what these creepsters may be up to. I think its mainly to keep myself sane as to why someone could possibly have a western inspired briefcase AND a basketball....all at 7:30am. This man, clearly fresh off the boat from somewhere, has obviously got a very important meeting on a ranch followed by a round of hoops with some African world leader. I'm intrigued where he plans on doing this in our native swampland...aka...nation's capital.

The first image that flashed into my head was this one:

'The Air Up There' circa 1994

This is a great movie! Correction- it was when I was 8, so that's really not a valid claim at all. I hope this western wear enthusiast at my bus stop is a basketball legend somewhere in Kenya. Until I need his autograph I'll steer clear of the neighborhood courts....and keep my doors locked.