Bus driver....high on life.....

So this morning I rush out the door, dressed all professionally with my rainbows on and my stilettos in my bag (my boss thinks these shoes I can barley walk in are fabulous by the way, but that's only because she herself wears stripper shoes on a daily basis.) I'm on my street at the point where I can visibly see my bus stop and yep...there she goes...the damn bus I usually take...zooming off into the distance without my ginger self. SHUCKS. Some would say...why didn't you run after the bus, ya know..try and flag it down? UMMM NO. I will never run after a bus, EVER in my life. Its on my very short list of things I refuse to do. Have you ever seen anyone look remotely attractive while RUNNING after public transit? Nope---didn't think so. So I chill at the bus stop looking like a hood rat in my rainbows and Ann Taylor Loft ensemble. I grab the paper, jam out to Ke$ha on my i-pod, you know, the usual.

A couple buses later here comes my bus. Score. I pick a seat usually on the elevated section near the back. It used to do this because it was farthest seat away from the old people, babies and people with carts, but now that I am writing this blog it gives me an ample viewing platform. I call it the creepster crow's nest, please see below:

So I'm just chilling reading my massive CPA study book that I like to carry around with me due to the fact that it's the size of a GD phonebook, and thus eludes to me being smart...Illusion, baha!  As I'm highlighting away I notice that this bus driver is awful friendly with EVERYONE. I, being not the most chipper person in the morning, can barley squeeze out a 'good morning' as I swipe my SMART card  and get raped by the DC PT system again. A buck thirty five sets a sister back, OKAY! I gots bills and mouths to feed. Shit.

Ok, so before I get into this next part, Id like to give a little background on my bus route....Those of you not from DC or Arlington, just pay attention, Ill get to my point eventually. My bus does this little 'trick' where it merges onto Washington Blvd right in front of Ft. Myer every day. OKAY- Washington Blvd is not like some gravel road...its a major F-ing highway. OHHH and did I mention the merge lane doesn't really exist, so its more like the bus just trys to haul ass onto the highway in the middle of DC rush hour traffic. So basically I am in this metal lunchbox that goes from 0-60 in ohhh say..10 minutes, 'darting' out into traffic. I literally think I am going to die every single morning.

So about the time we approach this death trap, I mean merge zone, the bus driver ANNOUNCES that he either wants us to sing 'we can do it,' or chant 50 to encourage our metal lunchbox onto this raging highway....(because our main goal is to reach hwy 50 which takes us to the city)....THEN PROCEEDS to lead the bus in a chant...'50, 50, 50....'


And yes, people are actually doing this.....


WTF bus driver...It is 7:30 the the GD morning dude. Have you lost your F-ing mind??? The glares from the snobs of Arlington were priceless. I guess he was trying to get the bus as pumped up for the day as he was...however, people reading the Post and cracking out on their crackberry were not amused.  I just found it ultra creepy and material for this here bloggy blog....


Also, if you aren't busy check out this website my mom sent me: shitmykidsruined.com  Thanks mom....I think..