fake ging

So, I'm a ginger. It's a pretty sweet life, especially because I'm a good looking one. BUT bad thing is...I wasn't always this smoking hot. My gingy self went through several awkward stages....we're talking pale, chubby, freckly, and gangily arms and legs. Lets just say middle school was a rough time period in my life....Okay so back to my point- Why would anyone choose to be a fake ginger??? It baffles me. It takes some thick skin to walk around with this blazing stuff atop your head. You basically can wear: green and brown. AWESOME. Ya know what green and brown remind me of? Basically poop and boogers. SWEET LIFE. You have to avoid the sun or you will literally die. I was that kid running around the beach in a full t shirt with my bathing suit underneath coated in head to toe SPF 75 sunscreen, which had to be re-applied every 30 minutes. Can you fathom having to wear a t-shirt over your bathing suit that is covered inside and out with sand all day at the blazing hot beach??? UGH MISERABLE. THANKS MOM.

As you can tell I have some pent up anger stemming from this hellatious childhood I had. Why you may ask are we talking about gingers again?? OK OK back to the story and how this relates to DC public transit.  Friday, I saw two fake gingys on the bus. TWO on ONE bus. Crazy? I know. I feared I would be struck by lightning- which was totally plausible in that metal lunchbox on wheels. Both of them had hair that was so orange I was convinced it was dyed with a Kool Aid packet (that's orange drink, for Fran.) I could only capture a picture of one of the fake gingys from the crows nest. I'm sad I missed the other one because she had this super awesome cat-lady purse with actual colorful cats on it. I'm surprised it wasn't packed full of  food, treats, and toys for the like 17+ cats she has at home. But sorry for building up your anticipation, here is the fake ginger I documented:

Fake gingy in natural habitat.

Scientific name: Wannabe-est Gingi-est.

Is this picture blurry you ask? No this women's hair actually resembled that of a troll. Like the oranged haired ones you get around Halloween-time. I was concerned for her and her decision making skills. Who decides to be a fake ginger? I mean the only complements you get are from men born circa 1912. "Ya know you have the prettiest red hair. Just like my wife used to have." AWESOME, My hair color was popular a century ago, circa dinosaur time. FML.

Well good luck to these two fake gingys. I wish them well. May they experience the pain and torment I have had my entire life. I'll just consider them creepy for now.